- Category: Humor
- Published: November 23, 2008
- Written by Grant
It's become very irritating to me that we need to have a "membership" card to buy anything anymore. When I got my Albertson's card (who swore they'd never have one) I requested it to be anonymous. QFC required a card unless you wanted to pay double already high prices for everything. Safeway was one of the first stores to require the card and I originally got one with my name on it which became very annoying because even though Safeway employees are forced to act like they care they really don't. Whenever I'd check out they'd say "Thanks for shopping at Safeway Mr Williams" which goes to show they didn't spend two seconds actually reading the name on the receipt. I decided to test this theory a couple of years ago and got an additional card, this time with the name Haywood Jabloomy. I didn't want it to be too obvious so I added an extra o to my last name - it should be Haywood Jablomy. If you haven't caught on by now just say it out loud. Anyway I could be coming home from an absoutely exhuasting day at work and stop off at Safeway to pick up something for dinner and walk out barely able to contain myself when they call me Mr Jabloomy. So far nobody has caught on to what it really is but one guy got close and asked me what kind of name it was - I very seriously responded "It's Polish". My very tongue in cheek (perhaps the tongue in cheek reference is recursive?) reference to the Polish sausage industry.
Anyway I'd not been to Safeway in a while until last night when I stopped off to buy gasoline. I swiped my Safeway Club card and the gas pump welcomed me with this message. I laughed so hard I had to stop pumping gas, put my card in again and take a picture of the message which I share here with you, my faithful viewers.